Thursday 4 October 2007
Now here is an important public safety warning just in from across the border:
Bushcronium: Noxious New Element Discovered
A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the densest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Bushcronium." Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311. These particles are held together by dark forces called 'morons', which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called 'peons'. The symbol for Bushcronium is "W".
Bushcronium's mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons in a Bushcronium molecule, forming new, slave-like 'iso-dopes'. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Bushcronium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass".
When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, an element that radiates shrill, incoherent noises. Foxnewsium is related and monetarily connected to Bushcronium, but has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons. Both Bushcronium and Foxnewsium are considered to be inherently criminal, noxious and potentially deadly to all human life on earth.
Saturday 15 September 2007
Today was a fairly normal Saturday. Reyna had Cheer in Fairfield, so she and Anne left
about noon. I took Laura to gymnastics at 1. That was followed by a trip to the mall, where
we ate pretzels for "lunch," followed by truffles from Lindt's for dessert. I bought my
vitamins (the reason for the trip). We returned home. Laura watched old Pokemon videos that
occasionally crapped out (being that old) and had to be restarted. I dozed over my laptop on
the couch.
Anne returned with Bradley, who is having a sleepover with the girls.
We all went down to the Naugatuck Harvest Moon Fair, on the town green. I didn't particularly
want to go. But, as I strolled around in the cool Fall air, I looked around the fair and felt
lucky -- I live in a town small enough that they can have a town fair every year, where the Riverboat
Gamblers can play Swing and the kids still dance on the grass, people give away balloons that say "God is
with me" and no sourpuss atheists show up to spoil the fun, and you can run into people you know (even
though you may think you'd wished you'd seen them before they saw you...) -- and your
kids see their friends from school.
I like it.